No. 160 SEPT 2020

POLITIKAL POKES

By Lobbytroll

GULLABILLY

No, its not a new seabird-based musical genre – gullabilly is the latest fashion for believing in adolescent drivel flung at you by semi-literate airheads with too much time on their hands now they have watched everything on Netflix. I know it's tempting to believe that the people you have always been envious of, (like billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates for example), are in constant contact with the devil. As head of a baby-eating global paedophile pizza cartel with the ability to change at will into a herd of zebra, Bill wants to place silicone chips under our skins in order to get us to use Microsoft products. I mean, who wouldn’t believe that? (‘Sheeple’ who cling to outmoded evidence-based science and the “mainstream media” who employ actual proper journalists, that’s who- ed).
So what exactly is fuelling this infantile drive towards morbid paranoid fantasy? Which gap in our knowledge is this tosh trying to fill? As a true devotee of gullabilly, that doesn’t matter to you. The content, factual or otherwise, is irrelevant. All you care about is the rhythm. It’s the beat that counts.It’s the rat-a-tat drum you march onward into the valley of death to, as Alfred Lord Tennyson the poetry guy once pointed out.
It's comforting to know that accurate and verifiable facts continue to be at the heart of research-based journalism, whatever that is supposed to mean.

THE RESSURECTION OF THE BADDY

Once, back in the heady days of enlightenment, the track suited guru of the gullible David Icke was jeered off the “mainstream media”, when it became obvious that he was just a another seriously deluded, mentally ill ex-athlete with, (by his own admission) a severe messiah complex. Now he emerges from his nursing home, along with that other attention-seeking lost Jesus, Nigel Farage. Who will grab the megaphone first in order to bark their nefarious bullshit to this ragtag coalition of the wilfully ignorant.? “At last,” whichever of them is speaking will say, “my people are ready for the second coming.” (They will not be referring to the inevitable second coming of the covid-19 virus by the way).

HAIL TO THE CHIEF

In the USA, gangster-in-chief Donald Trump has cottoned on to this opportunity to sow discord and uses his 12-word vocabulary with particular skill when addressing his natural constituency (the evangelically-challenged and the terminally thick). Being careful not to mention their intellectual impairment, or worse, implicate God as ‘a loser’, for that would surely finish him off, he skirts around criticism or condemnation of his barking mad disciples, because he knows they are crucial to his re-election plans. That is of course, if he decides that he needs to be re-elected rather than simply retained as a permanent dictator.